Because adolescent brains are built for connection, the pull of the phone can be particularly hard to resist. “Even the things that appear neutral or benign can play on those adolescent vulnerabilities,” said James. “Adolescents care what their friends think, they care very much about the status of their friendships, their place in the world and how people look at them.”
However, adults also feel the pull of persuasive design features like notifications, infinite scroll and streaks, too. Recognizing this can increase empathy and build common ground, which can shift adults from an “us vs. them” mindset to an “us and them” approach when it comes to technology.
To help students notice how technology may influence their thought patterns, the Center created a glossary of seven thinking traps, drawn from cognitive behavioral therapy. These include “mind reading,” “personalizing” and “all-or-nothing thinking.” Just learning about these traps can make them easier to manage. “Our hope is that it opens up a bigger conversation about some of the psychological vulnerabilities we all have,” said James. “We can acknowledge that some of what we’re reading may not be real.” Young people are also encouraged to prove themselves wrong when they recognize that they are falling into these patterns of thinking by seeing what evidence they have and asking themselves what advice they’d give a friend who is experiencing this same thinking trap.
Start With Values, Not Apps
When kids seem stressed or glued to their screens, many parents start by asking: “What is it about Instagram?” or “Why does TikTok pull you in?” James recommended a different approach that focuses on kids’ needs rather than the tech itself. A helpful tool is the Value Sort activity, which asks students to select personal values like honesty, creativity or justice and reflect on how technology helps or hinders those values. “And in some cases, with the same value, it can be a bit of both,” James explained.
This kind of reflection makes space for student agency. Instead of being told what matters, young people get to name what’s important to them. And that often motivates more meaningful conversations. James also highlights a study where researchers looked at design tricks like notifications and pop-up ads using values as a frame. “They drew the connection between those design features and values like autonomy and fairness and justice that adolescents tend to care about,” said James. She noted that highlighting values like autonomy and fairness is usually an effective motivator for students because they do not want to be told what to do whether it’s by their parents or their devices.
Tech Habits, Not Tech Shaming
Many students already feel conflicted about their relationship with screens. In interviews, they told James things like, “I don’t want to look back at my childhood and think I wasted it on a pointless game,” or “My friends are always glued to their phones and so am I. And I hate that.”
To help kids feel less alone and more empowered the Center created the Tech Habits Challenge. Students pair up and interview each other using a guided worksheet, starting with questions like: “What’s a tech habit you feel good about?” Leading with a positive question signals to students that we see the good things they’re already doing to take care of their digital wellbeing, said James.
Then, they reflect on one habit they want to change, which may include checking a certain app less or using it differently. Students create a five-day plan, brainstorm alternatives and identify someone to hold them accountable. Crucially, students choose the goal themselves. One student, for example, wanted to keep using Snapchat, but cut back on checking her boyfriend’s location. Her goal was not to quit, but to use the app in a way that aligned better with her values.
